It's getting to that time in my life when the kids start school next year and I find myself continually asking that question. What happens when all my 'babies' are in school and suddenly I find myself re-entering the workforce after approximately eight years. I find the idea both scary and exciting.
I think that my attitude to everything and everyone in my immediate vicinity changes when I don't have between one and three little hobbits following me around. I wonder what kind of a person I will be minus the little guys and only accountable for myself (during school hours anyway). Will I amazingly stumble into a job I love or will it take long months of waiting and interviewing to find one? How will life change for us? How will the reserves of time, money and family time change? So many questions.
I suppose there have been few times in my life when the future has held this many question marks.
For me... right here and in this moment... I can't see ahead; I can't fast-forward one year or even one second. It's a human trait that our tomorrows lie hidden behind the veil of time. Only God knows where we will be, even if we will live to see them.
So this question, in fact, becomes a stumbling block when dwelt on too much. I think when I focus too much on my tomorrows, I start losing sight of my todays. I have been given so much that I am continually forgetting to be grateful for all I have and each breath, each ray of sunshine, each hug, each kiss, each love - can all pass by hardly noticed.
God only knows my future and God alone fully understands my past. If I can trust Him to lead me through each day, then I can trust Him to lead me through each year and into eternity. If I can trust Him to save my soul, then I can trust Him to guide my life. I will forever be in the palm of His hand.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.
Do not be like the horse or like the mule,
Which have no understanding,
Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,
Else they will not come near you.
Many sorrows shall be to the wicked;
But he who trusts in the LORD, mercy shall surround him.
Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, you righteous;
And shout for joy, all you upright in heart!"
I may not understand tomorrow, but I can thank God for today. I can't live His will in my own strength, but I can pray for His and He has been and will be faithful to provide.
"...but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.
Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”
1 Corinthians 1:23-31 NIV
I have been blessed beyond my own ability to comprehend. He has placed such treasures in my hands that when I think of it my heart nearly bursts. What a blessing to be a mother and what a joy to be a wife. Caring for my family is such a special honor that I hope I can cherish every today and trust God through every tomorrow.
"He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."